I found out I was pregnant with my second child 4 days after my father passed away.
I couldn’t even feel happy.
On the 2nd of December 2016 my father passed away due to cancer that had spread in his body, though we knew It was bad and there was no good outcome, nothing really prepares you to loose a loved one, specially your father. Only 4 days after I suspected I was pregnant and did a test, It was positive. We had been trying for a while but when my dad started getting really ill that was the last thing on our minds.
I coudn’t be happy. I wanted another child, but I just couldn’t get excited. I couldn’t imagine my baby growing up without a grandfather. It was too soon and to hard.
The next few months dragged by, dazes of crying, times of numbness and trying to be strong for myself and my 5 yo son. he was very close to my dad and spoilt by him. but he understood that now Avo was out of pain and in heaven.
Now the preparations for another child began. crib, car seats, strollers, clothes etc. WE found out it’s a boy! again lol I really wanted a girl but apparently I was destined to only have boys. So be it, as long as it was healthy I didn’t really mind. the pregancy went quick and well, I had times of horrible heartburn and feeling nauseated but that was it and I was starting to get excited.
My mother had decided she didn’t want to be at the hospital with me, apparently I shouted and hit her hand away the last time so she didn’t like me giving birth lol. Baby was born on 30th of July, 3 days before my oldest birthday. he was excited to share a birthday and was upset his brother came early. This excitement of a joint birthday wore out a few years later lol
I did notice that this time around the contractions were much stronger and because I didn’t have epidural, my body did most of the work for me. I litterally felt my uterus contracting and pushing baby out. It’s amazing how the body works. I was amazed at my little boy and how perfect he was. God blessed me once more with the miracle of life and I will be forever grateful. This baby was the ray of sunshine after a stormy time in our lives. He gave us a reason to be happy again and I knew my dad was watching over us.
Not nowwww! I mean last year! When I was pregnant with my 3rd and DEFINITLY LAST baby.
To be honest I was done having kids, I had 2 beautiful crazy boys and loved them so much even when they drove me crazy. I didn’t want more. But God had other plans for me. So here we go again!
I was lucky enough to be pregnant for the 3rd time and guess what!? ITS A GIRL!! My dream come true! A mini me! We were so excited to finally have a girl, even my partner was excited. He went straight into strict daddy mode over his little girl and I was so happy that he would finally get the chance to have a daughter. I wanted him to feel the daddy-daughter connection that I had with my dad. And I stand by with what I say. The love between a father and his daughter is stronger than anything else. He will be her first love and forever role mode of a man! His daughter will love him more than anyone else in this world. And this is his only chance to show her what A MAN should be like and HOW she should be treated.
Luckily he got to join me for my scans because it was before Coronavirus/COVID-19 started. My first 2 pregnancy went well and besides a bit of heartburn I was healthy and well. This time around!? I felt like I was dying! No exaggeration! I was sooo tired and in soo much pain. I had pelvic girdle pain/symphysis pubis dysfunction PSD. The name alone brings back flashbacks of pain! It literally felt like I was being torn in two “down there”! Sitting hurt, walking hurt, lying down hurt and breathing hurt! The last 2 months of pregnancy was a world of pain! And I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy! Nothing helped or relieved the pain. I couldn’t wait to give birth because I couldn’t take the pain anymore!
She was due the 30th March and I thought she would be born before her due date like her brothers who were both born 3 days before their due date. But NOOOO madam had to give her big entrance!! And be 5 FLIPPING DAYS LATE! My waters broke on the 3rd of April but no contractions so I ended up going to hospital for a check and eventually got sent home again. If my contractions didn’t start by 4am Id be induced. Some people say induction hurts more that natural birth. Thank God contractions started at 1am! The contractions were hell!!! My room was beautiful and relaxing, I was in the midwife lead unit and it was amazing! They were all amazing and I loved the whole experience. I had a water birth and it was awesome! I recommend it to everyone now! My baby girl was born on the 4th April, my brothers birthday too. Our family likes to have join birthdays lol
As I starred into this beautiful baby girl all I can see it perfection! She was so pretty and looked so girly!
The boys fell inlove with ber immediately! They were so mesmerised by her and how small she was and so fragile! Our family was complete now. And I couldn’t be happier!
Then F#cking Corona Started to worsen. And my baby girl missed out on so much! Baby groups, friends meeting, family gatherings & other social events. But she was so lucky to have so much more time with her brothers and me and her dad. 2020 was shit but we were happy to be locked in with this princess.
I didn’t know I was pregnant till 5 months!! (Detailed description-readers be warned)
Yes I know, I get the same questions all the time!
How didn’t you know?
What about your period?
Didn’t you realize you gained weight?
Didn’t you feel baby move?
Didn’t you get morning sickness?
Bla bla bla
Let me give a bit of back story. I was born in October 1990… sorry that went way back! I’m only joking, anyway, after I met my partner in 2009 and spending alot of time together we decided to move to England. It was a hard decision because we would be leaving all out family behind. So January of 2011 we moved to England. It was a very stressful time of our lives, we had no permanent address, we had no work and all our plans were going down the drain. After a few months I got a job as a barista in Cafe Nero in High Wycombe Buckinghamshire and it was amazing and I had lovely colleagues but my partner still had no job and it was disappointing for him and he had thought of going back home to Madeira. Last minute, like literally the day before he was leaving he got a call for a job in London. He got accepted and had to start immediately. As it was a good job with good pay we both decided to move to London. That meant I had a 1:30min comute from London to high wycombe for work till I got transferred to Notting Hill in North London. It was the longest month of my life.
So as you can imagine we were constantly on the go and stressed. I had been feeling extra tired, extra moody and I was “bloated” because I thought my IBS was playing up. Well one day I decided to take a test because I hadn’t had a period for a few months (I thought it was because of stress), the first month or 2, I had spotting so considered that a period. Sorry for too much info. After 4 pregnancy tests I called the GP and explained the situation and had a test done. OBVIOUSLY I was pregnant!!! So the nurse told me to lie down for examination to see how big baby was and then she pulls out (from her cabinet! Not out of me) her eco scanny thing and we hear a HEARTBEAT!!! I could of fainted! Like what the hell! I got a baby in me and I can her its heartbeat!!
I know had to tell my partner and my parents and I was scared about both scenarios because its not good timing. We’re not ready for a baby!! Anyway I knew my partner would be happy as he’s been asking me for a baby from when we started dating! But my parents were gonna flip!! I called my mum first. She was not happy! Specially when I told her I’m 5 months pregnant!! Then I had to tell my dad!! As a girl, the thought of telling your dad you’re pregnant, not married, in a different country was nerve wrecking! When I told him, he was soooooooo happy!! The happiest I’ve heard him in months!! I was in shock obviously!
So now what? I’m gonna have a baby!!
I waited a few weeks and finally told my partner on his birthday! I left the pregnancy test by the window and told him his gift was there. He was excited! He’d always wanted a baby! Now it’s finally happening.
The next few months flew by!! My dad went to South Africa to visit family and brought me a huge suitcase of baby stuff from Portugal then another suitcase from South Africa from my family there. Everyone was excited. I was nervous! But honesI felt the happiest, luckiest and most beautiful Ever!
The pregnancy went well, no problems at all. Found out it was a boy, though I wanted a girl lol, but I was glad that even thought I didn’t know for the first 5 months, all the stress and everything we were going through, our baby was a strong health boy. He was due on 5th August. M
y mum came on the 1st to help me out and do some last minimo shopping. That same night my Mum arrived, baby decided he was ready to come too. Contractions started during the night but at 7am, time my partner went to work (even though I told him baby’s coming!!!) the pain was unbearable and I called the hospital 3 times which they kept telling me to relax, take a paracetamol and take a nap!! A bloody nap!! I couldn’t take it anymore so my friend took us to hospital. I was not happy! I was in terrible pain, I was waiting for my partner to come and all they were giving me was gas & air! Honestly I’d smoked week stronger than that! It did nothing!! Salvation came in the form of an anesthesiologist holding my epidural! I shouted at him to get right the first time🙈 and he was afraid to come check up on me after. My partner arrived soon after I was drugged up, lucky for him.. Baby was taking long to come out, everytime I pushed he came forward and when I took a breathe the silly boy went back in. I was a human see saw for this child. Once he was out, he was the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen! I had a baby! I was a mum! And everything in the world was perfect…. till they had to sew me up😒 if you know, you know!
And thats it! Sorry for too much info and details! Hope you had a good read!! Pregnancy & birth story number 2 tomorrow!!
When they sleep, we dont sleep! We do everything we couldnt do with them awake
Yes I could add more but I’ll do an opposite now:
A mothers love is unmeasurable
We love you more than ourselves
Nobody will love you like we do
We laugh with you, and cry with you
When you’re sick we feel helpless
Your smile can wipe away all pain
You are the most beautiful to us
We would die & kill for you
We would spend our last money on you
We will always be there for you
This saying being a mum is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done! But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. From the first time I heard his heartbeat I knew this is what I’m meant to do. To love him! When I first say his face and held him in my arms I felt this overpowered sense of love and devotion. This feeling is both amazing and scary, and its when they first suffer/cry that we feel helpless. We wish we could take their pain away and make them happy again.
That first smile warms our heart like nothing else in the world. I’ve got 3 children and their smile still warms my heart❤️
Today is Mother’s Day in Uk and it’s a day to celebrate mums!
Happy mother’s day to New mums, its so hard specially during this time in our lives when we are on lockdown and don’t have all the support we need in those first days, weeks, months!
Happy mother’s day to rhose who’s mums are in heaven. Im so deeply sorry for your loss and I can even imagine how you’re feeling and how you long for her embrace. RIP mums and Im sure they are very proud of the person you’ve become.
Happy mother’s day to those wanting and trying to be mum’s. I have no idea of your pain & struggling but I offer my support and love and strength to you! If it happens then Im sure you will be an amazing mother and if it doesn’t then remember there are so many children in care who needs a mummy.
Happy mother’s day to single mums who have nobody to help them, that have to do everything alone and can’t have a moment to themselves, struggle financially and emotionally! You are so strong because you have to be! Im so proud of you!
Happy mother’s day to those who have lost their baby/children. My heart goes out to you and I can even begin to imagine how hard your heart aches specially today! Im so sorry for your loss! May you one day be reunited with your angel in heaven and your heart be whole again❤️
And last but no least, to those who don’t have a relationship with their mother’s. I’m so sorry and I can’t imagine how it is to not have a mother, someone who should love you indefinitely. My fiancés mother left him and 5 other brothers/sister at a young age. The youngest sibling was 2 years old at the time. It makes no sense to me but I am so proud of their father who stepped up and was a mum & a dad for all 6 kids.
These are the cards I received from my children. And these mean more to me than shop bought ones. Because they put their hearts and minds into making these. I love you my babies❤️
The kids were up at 7, the oldest having an asthma coughing fit and the baby screaming from her room to be rescued 🙄
The middle one just happily does his things, toilet and downstairs to watch tv. Lets start this mayhem!
I got dressed and actually put makeup on to disguise the dark circles, i thought about putting some cute lipstick on but nobody will see under the mask anyway!
I think the oldest doesn’t wanna go back to school. His tummy hurts now. Whats next? Headache & diahorrea? Well he will still be going to school! Tough luck! (I’m joking obviously!) School after a global pandemic will be different and hard to get used to but it’s for the best. Academically they need it. COVID-19 was a disaster that no one saw coming and i doubt it will go away for good.
Hopefully 3 school runs will help up my daily steps and get me healthier along with healthy food. Today I feel like having chicken curry! South African style. I’ll add the recipe later if you’d like. Yesterday I baked a cake so the kids can have a treat after school tomorrow. Its a simple coconutty sponge that we all love and disappears quickly.
The weekend was a busy one cleaning the house, gardening my many plants (inside & outside) and planning ahead for summer lounging. This will be the best summer ever! We have to make the most of it. Thats what we’ve learnt from lockdown and not seeing friends and family! Life is too short and we need to live it to the fullest❤️